Showing posts with label gardening. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gardening. Show all posts

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Why are endings always harder ?





Well I just had to show how my garden progresses and I have to say I'm getting more than my share of enjoyment out of my tiny plot. It's over planted and there is no coherent plan or record keeping going on just lot's of planting and some watering. And  I'm proud to say we ate all of the first spinach crop this weekend just gone. Spinach and feta fritters. Very tasty.

This week I've been overwhelmed with trying to finish things and been thinking a bit how often beginnings are spoken of as being difficult but in my experience it's the endings that are messy and hard to navigate. This year I got a small scholarship to find out about the experiences of teachers as they move into late career. While I was on leave for the first 6 months of the year and working for what is known as the "dark side" I got to travel a lot and had plenty of time to think and  read and get onto this study. Since I've been back at my real job  I have found myself so unmotivated and almost at the point of mental paralysis when it comes to writing up my findings. I have not done what I need to and in the process have also not done what I want to do . Now it's crunch time. The report has to be submitted by Friday. Finishing this thing, getting it onto paper and ending it is like a refined form of torture. It's not that the topic hasn't been intriguing and relevant it has - it's just not done. That's the problem.

It reminds me of another form of torture I subjected myself for a lot longer than I ought to have simply because I couldn't bring myself to end it. That was when I used to get a monthly massage from a naturopath who was not only poorly qualified but also terrrible at the art of massage. It was not relaxing, or refreshing. It was awful. The person in question used to talk all the way through the session - there was no soft relaxing mood music , no nice oil burning in the background and no soft lights. No - there were hard hands and  bad monologue. I heard all about the bad mariage, the arsehole of an ex , the troublesome teens and I lay there like a slab of meat being pounded for the barbeque  month afer month. Finally I got stronger in myself to ask the question? Am I enjoying this? Is this fun? Is this in my best interests?   I had my answer and after that I never went back. 

That's another question I've been pondering a lot lately. Asking myself which of all the things I do and agree to do are in my best interests. That is a hard one and one that sometimes people around me resist as I try to do   what is right for me .Recently I have been called selfish and heartless because I declined an invitation to do something with some people. I'm getting better at living with criticism as well. So much so that when the young girl told me recently that the machine had diagnosed my skin age as being that of a 47 year old and how terrible that was and that now I had to buy expensive products to repair the damage I just laughed and told her but of course my skin is 47 years old as am I!! And no thanks to the skin products.  Sunscreen will do the trick.

So make this week one in which you put your own best interests first.  You'll be glad you did. Cheers Marg

Friday, October 30, 2009

On parenting and parcels that fail to arrive.


Here they are Tom and Rosie with Brooke , Tom's girlfriend on the right.  You can't see Tom's hands but I've long held a not so secret dream for these hands.I thought they could make him a fortune by becoming accessory models. You know modelling man- jewellery, bracelets, rings and wrist watches. Rosie and I have frequently thought it unfair that that the boy should have been born with the long slender fingers that tan at the slightest hint of sunshine.  This week those hands have been attaching cups to cows udders( as part of a practicum he's had to do) and apparently enjoying it!!! Now I have to admit to myself that the time is long overdue for me to release my children from the tyranny of my spoken and unspoken expectations and aspirations  for them.  And as the days for saying goodbye to school for the  last time approach he must be free to pursue whatever path his life intends for him. I will watch and see with interest.

A while back in moment of light heartedness we 3, made up a family motto.
"Don't tell lies.,don't steal and try to be a good person."
I guess if I can hang onto any aspirations at all for my kids it is that they would value their own human qualities beyond things, possesions and a career. Even then they will decide. I do think this is the hardest part of the parenting journey. The part that lets them go. So if you have little kids enjoy every moment of the experience!!

This is the errant parcel- who knows where it is malingering - maybe at the bottom of a pile of stuff somewhere or delivered to another address. I'm sorry Rosie it's not there. It's got a mini birthday kit in it for you to enjoy with your friends before you come home. The strange looking white photo is a pass the parcel complete with insructions. I thought you might have some fun with that. Anyway if it turns up enjoy and I will assemble the very last parcel for they year and hopefully it will get to you before you leave.


Progress inside and out is slow this week. You can see where the new fence is going to go and the gravel area is in preparation for the paving tiles which will go on top. everywhere I look there is something that is the beginning of something else. A layer of chaos has descended over every available space in the property. I am trying to maintain an inner calm knowing that it will all come together soon. Meanwhile I might clear out for a long walk on this beautiful day. Grab a coffee on the way and enjoy other peoples order.

Have a  great week.
Marg

Friday, October 16, 2009

Somethings are too big to go in a parcel


Some things just don't fit no matter hard you try to wrap them up and post them away. Like my new china cabinet from my current favourite secondhand shop , Wiers. It's a quirky  brother and sister combo who run the shop but luckily for me they have a crazy penchant for salt and pepper sets and disney stuff  and also lots of china cabinets which are going cheap because they are not popular at the moment. Now wouldn't you think if you were a savvy business operator you wouldn't be selling china cabinets by the dozen if they weren't popular. If it were me I'd hide all the china cabinets away in storage and just put one on display and still sell at a very fair price but the virtue of just having one on display would  signifiy high demand. A luxury item indeed! Quick let me buy the lovely last one. But they seem to do a roaring trade( with only a modicum of custom from me) so I'm sure they have the right formula.

Rosie if you are looking - I wanted you to notice my new raised garden beds -partly planted with beans, spinach and broccoli. The cat has ruined  any chance of the carrot seed coming up by digging the row up - even getting under the wirenetting to carry out that peice of gleeful revenge on me.Oh and did you notice the wall behind the china cabinet? That is the new wall just waiting now to be painted after the new gib board has gone up.



These will be gone by the time you get home. This rhodendron just yesterday was a bud - today after a night of rain it is open - in a week it will be gone. So lovely it makes me stop and look each time I go past. Actually Dunedin is beautiful right now. The Rhododendrons are all coming out fast and there is still lots of blossom and spring flowers around. I love my walk to work in the mornings. I find myself arriving late because I'm dawdling on the way looking into all the gardens as I go.

So what actually went away this last week? These ungainly looking things called coconut biscuits ( gluten free- mostly coconut with 1 Tablespoon only of rice flour held together with an egg and some sugar ) . I was sure they would arrive as crumbs but apparently not. And evidently very tasty despite appearances. Also some more brain food - nuts and dried apricots from central otago. And no junk from Wiers. Not one little thing. I got to thinking that maybe just a month out from packing up and coming home for the summer that perhaps adding to the possessions wasnt such a clever idea. Still I have walked past Wiers everyday and gazed in the windows thinking what I would choose if were going to buy.
Im sure my walk to work is almost the highlight of my day most days.

Enjoy the coming week. Marg